- Halfway through, it just becomes Mary Poppins starring Jewel, and nobody notices.
- Carrie Underwood takes a Louisville Slugger to both headlights of Hitler’s pickup truck.
- The hills are alive, but you know, like, they have eyes.
- A panicked look on Underwood’s face as she forgets “My Favorite Things” and has to make up the lyrics: “Raindrops on racists and nipples on chickens.”
- Accidental swears.
- I hope they keep the scene where the kids are lined up by height. Oh wait, that’s every scene.
- Funkier new disco arrangements by Nile Rodgers and Hammerstein.
- All the kids’ voices deepen four octaves between rehearsal and performance.
- All the success of NBC’s last musical theatre endeavour, Smash.
- A convoluted backstory to explain Underwood’s southern accent.
- Sets that look an awful lot like the Cliffhangers set from The Price is Right.
- Changing a few lyrics for sponsors: “How do you solve a problem like eczema? Cortizone!”
- An acknowledgment of what the lonely goatherd does when he gets really lonely.
- By popular demand, the Ricola jingle.
- “La” breaks up with “Do Re Mi,” stating, “Is that all I am to you, a note to follow so?”
I was onstage, transitioning from a hilarious bit about lesbian porn into some pretty sweet butt sex material, when I heard a lady’s voice yell out, “They didn’t teach you that at _____!”
_____ is the name of my high school, and even though this particular show was in my hometown of Chicago,…
i want to talk to comics who have depression about the impact it has on their writing and performance process, and what coping skills they have developed to deal with it. because it’s a relatively singular focus, it would have the advantage of being under an hour an episode probably. i hesitate because there are so many already, it is a time commitment, and it’s another dip in the “comics with mental illness” pool. however, none of those podcasts address the questions i have, which is why they persist. that makes me feel like it might be worth doing.
the question is: does the world really need another podcast?
happy thanksgiving from my family to yours.
If you know me, you know that the cover of Rolling Stone is where I have set my personal bar for success. Made the website this morning with some of my photos of Chuck Ragan in the studio recording his latest record. Definitely a gracious step in the right direction towards my goal.
just spent 30 minutes drooling over the wing stop menu with my husband even though i cooked dinner, then we decided fuck it: let’s go to walgreen’s and get some ice cream.
i’m PMSing. no idea what his excuse is, but he’s definitely going to be driving.
facebook just told me i know 8 people with birthdays tomorrow.
congratulations on your parents making a valentine’s day mistake, everyone!