If you were watching the news on Friday night (or not, maybe you have a life) while Djohar Tsarnaev was being captured instead of reading some really great things that some really funny people came up with on twitter, here’s a gem you missed from Dan Telfer.
Someone was kind enough to screenshot their favorite tweets in this series, but left the dramatic conclusion out. You can read my entire alternate-universe chronicle of how the boat confrontation went down here.
“…Uncle Ruslan kicks the boat and creates a perimeter of shame.”
Nailed contributor Josh Atlas interviews comedian Paul Jay as part of our coverage of the 2013 Bridgetown Comedy Fest in Portland, OR.
IT’S TIME FOR BRIDGETOWN! also, paul is very funny. you should read this interview and become a fan.
i will be so good at comedy that i will be willing to try new jokes in the middle of showcase sets because they will be strong enough to work out there. i can’t wait for that day to come. i have so much new material that just needs to be worked the fuck out of, and no showcase audience should be subjected to it, but i am a self-conscious idiot doing it for the same 15 people that are at every open mic.
if i could have any superpower, it would be the power to give none of the fucks what people think about me.*edited to add: while i was in the shower preparing for my show tonight, it dawned on me that louis ck takes a year to come up with an hour and i am mad at my idiot brain for not being able to develop what turns out to be 30 solid minutes in the first 8 months i have been doing this. i really need to lighten up sometimes.
I feel like this sketch from last season is apropos in light of Braid Paisley and LL Cool J’s new duet, “Accidental Racist.”
Also, a note to Brad Paisley: thinking LL Cool J is in any way a relevant rapper to record a duet with actually proves that you’re racist.
KEY AND PEELE CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE!
i am waiting for a meeting at a youth center in east oakland. the room i’m waiting in is called the living room and is a huge space with 8 couches, spread throughout the space. the wall says this room has a capacity of 100. i am the only one in here. in the 20 minutes i have been waiting, four separate young black men have come through the door, seen me sitting here and walked back out. hurray for post-racial america.
A client requested I design a calendar. She wanted some of her favourite quotes from philosophers on each page. She asked me to credit the quotes she couldn’t remember the speaker for. Eleven of the months were all philosophy luminaries. March was Optimus Prime.